Day One Hundred and Two: Nap

I am a consistent nap taker.

I love naps. I don’t sleep well at night for a myriad of reasons: stress, boyfriend snoring, stomach pains and headaches. Over the years I have combatted my lack of traditional sleep phases with an excessive amount of napping. These days my doctor recommends that I nap whenever I can because without sleep my body can’t fight infections, and if you haven’t been following my track record, my body loves infections.

I’ve always kind of found it funny that when you’re little, school has nap time built into the curriculum for you. For some reason, despite the fact that countless studies prove it is a bad idea, we do away with nap time as a child gets older. Then again, we also do away with recess and joy, so I guess this is just our way of introducing children into the epically disappointing world of adulthood. All I’m saying is that napping is not only good for you, but it just feels so nice. Can you imagine how much happier my students in my classroom would be if they got a little nap after lunch.

I think there is a slight demonizing of naps by people who think they don’t need them. I’ve been called lazy and silly for taking naps. I’ve had a little fight with depression, so when I start napping a lot, my family does the whole “oh no, she’s depressed again!” freak out. Actually, I just started jogging and my body isn’t accustom to that much of an effort on my part, so I make it up by napping. I’m not depressed, just tired.

So many world issues could be solved if we just made it socially acceptable to nap in public.

Challenge to my Readers:

It seems to me that everyone is go go go these days. I feel like every time I get something done, I find something else to do, even if it isn’t something that absolutely needs to be done. I’m all for being a go getter achiever, but personal health is important too. The next time you feel a little overwhelmed, take a nap. You’ll feel so much better.

Day One Hundred and One: Well Read

I am on top of current events.

I try very hard to keep up on news around the world. I like reading news and keeping track of world politics. It is vital for a teacher and a writer to understand what is happening in the world. All around us every day there are crazy things happening in science, education, and art. The more we learn each day, the more we have to share with each other.

I love reading the news, mostly because I’m always looking for good news. I know that a lot of people don’t like current events because it’s always about war and crime and genocide and death and all the other bad stuff. But I keep reading because someday that all has to end. And I want to be the first to know when the world gets good news.

Challenge to my Readers:                                                                                             

Read the news today. Learn something new. Stay on top of what is going on in the world. 

Day One Hundred: Licensed

I am officially a licensed teacher in the state of Colorado.

I worked my ass off for five years to get a piece of paper that I had to print out myself, but it officially official. I am so unbelievably happy, you have no idea.

If you’re wondering why I graduated almost seven months ago and just now got my license, the answer you are looking for is bureaucracy. Super fun stuff.

So, yeah, that’s the big thing I’m proud of today.

Challenge to my Readers:

If you have something you want, go get it.   

Day Ninety Nine: Dedicated

I am dedicated to my work.

Tomorrow I have an inspection at my shop. Today I spent most of the day trying to clean our freezer. There is nothing more aggravating than cleaning a freezer that is still on. Every time I tried to wash it, the sponge got frozen to the bottom. Using scalding water did me no good because the freezer is so cold it turned the sponge solid in a few seconds.

But I managed, somehow, to get it clean. Hopefully tomorrow it will pass inspection.

I’m taking over a store that has consistently been in the highest percentage of ranking for our company. We are the highest ranked store in the state and I intend to keep it that way. I want to keep up our reputation.

Tomorrow I get to go in early and make sure that everything is ready and everything is super-duper clean so that we get a good grade. More than that, I get to study up on the history of my company and be prepared to answer questions. Ask me anything, I dare you.

Hopefully I can keep our track record of a clean store.

Challenge to my Readers:

Think about what you are dedicated to. Treasure it and nourish it. If you can’t think of anything, find something!

Day Ninety Eight: Colorado Girl

I am a Colorado girl.

Born and raised. Those of you who are in the state right now are also sitting through Snowpocalypse 2013. We’ve gotten about ten inches today. The roads are awful. The stores are closed. Everything is covered in a large amount of the white stuff. I’ll probably have so snowshoe into work tomorrow. It’s that bad.

But this is just another winter here in Colorado. Yesterday it was fifty four degrees and people were wearing shorts and eating ice cream and enjoying the sun. Today it’s about five below and dumping powder. No one in their right mind is outside. If you’re from Colorado, you know better than to try and drive in this mess. You also know that if you must drive, there is a proper way to drive in weather like this that won’t leave your car wrapped around a telephone pole.

Colorado is a great state. It is my home. I don’t know if I will always live here, but my heart will always belong here. The mountains, the desert, even the city all own a little part of my soul. I am Colorado born and proud of it.

Just call me a Colorado Girl.

Challenge to my Readers:

Be proud of your home state, even if you hate it. Where you live and where you are from is part of who you are. At the same time, feel good about the places you move to. Mingle with the locals and expand your horizons. 

Day Ninety Seven: Big Picture

I am a big picture thinker. (Sometimes)

Recently at work I’ve been assigned to come up with a service project for my coworkers and me to do. Our company is all about service so it’s kind of expected of us to perform some kind of charitable service to the community.

Here is my problem: I have enough trouble trying to get all my coworkers to show up for their shifts. An unpaid service project isn’t going to happen without some kind of serious rewards for them. Not to mention that sometimes just throwing a whole bunch of unmotivated people at a roadside clean up project isn’t going to get anything done.

That’s why we’re going to do something bigger. We’re going to partner with a charity that helps kids who are really sick. I’ll keep you updated as much as I can, because I don’t want this project to be a one day or one time thing. I think that my shop and my coworkers really have what it takes to make a bigger difference in the world.

As nice as serving at a soup kitchen or cleaning up litter might be, sometimes you need to take the bigger picture into account and do something that will make the biggest impact in the end.

Challenge to my Readers:

The next time you have a service requirement for work or for school, consider doing something long lasting instead of whatever will get you the most hours in the shortest commitment. Demonstrate some forward thinking by really striving to do something good.

Day Ninety Six: Name

I have an unusual name.

I’m one of those people who usually hesitates to give the barista at Starbucks my name. I always have to tell them how to spell it and then the guy on the other end never knows how to say it so they just call me out by my drink anyway. But in all sincerity I love my name.

It’s Japanese, so when I tell people my name they give me a funny look and ask where I’m from. Well, I am from Colorado and I’m a white Irish girl. Their next question is usually something condescending like “Oh, I bet you like anime and stuff, right?” I did, in high school. But my name has nothing to do with that. In fact, I changed my name when I was six or seven years old. My grade school had a ton of people who have the same name as me, so my teacher, who had lived in Japan for many years and spoke and taught Japanese to us, gave me my current name. When I moved on to middle school, I had the same problem. So I stayed with my name. It stuck.

I love my name because it always gives me something to talk about with people.

Challenge to my Readers:

Your name is as unique as you are, even if you don’t think it is. Spend some time looking up where your name comes from. Ask your parents why they gave you that name.

Day Ninety Five: High Horse

I try not to ride my high horse too often.

This is half apology and half explanation. For those of you who are my Facebook friends, you undoubtedly saw my  mini rant about these stupid PEMDAS problems wandering around the internet.

My issue with these things, and other things like them, is that they are designed to that the poster can feel superior to the people he is posting about. They usually say shit like “ha, 90% are too stupid to do this math!” or “Only one out of ten people actually know how to use and Oxford comma.” I’m going to let you in on a little secret: This is facebook. The only people on this site who give a relative shit about your ‘intelligence’ is yourself and maybe your mother. The rest of us log on here to see who is getting married to whom, who took stupid photos and track down an ex to see if their new partner is uglier than we are.

This is a little bit personal to me because my friends started posting these things. My friends will also be the angriest about my little rant because I’m attacking them a little bit. Here is the thing though: When I first saw these little math problems circulating the internet, oh about four or five months ago, I ignored the temptation to prove my intelligence because it was math. I don’t do math. I’m very bad at math. Outside of Geometry and Physics, I have never been able to handle most mathematical principles without getting a splitting headache. Both of my parents are engineers and they frequently make fun of me for not being able to do math. My boyfriend even makes fun of me sometimes.

Good for all of you. You can do math. Congrats. I have three degrees and speak almost five languages. I can balance nine scoops of ice cream on a cone. I can sing a double high C without even worrying about it. You are not demonstrating your intelligence through a stupid math problem anymore than I am demonstrating my stupidity by not being able to do it.

I don’t like to get up on my high horse very often. I like to reserve it for special occasions. I feel like that makes it all the stronger when I do actually stand up for something. So here is my high horse for you: It’s perfectly fine if you want to celebrate the things that you can do, as long as you don’t demean others for the things which they cannot do.

You want to post your stupid little PEMDAS pictures or “THEY’RE, THEIR, THERE” crap, go for it. But don’t be surprised when I demand that you tell me who the current PrimeMinister of France is because, oh gee, I thought it was common knowledge.

Challenge to my Readers:

One of my professors once put it like this: “We will all fall prey to the massive multi-person stupidity that is the internet.” That’s cool. We all make mistakes. I’m sure I’ve posted plenty of stuff that makes other people angry. Before you post, ask yourself this:

·         Is what you’re posting designed to humiliate or dehumanize another person?

·         Is what you’re posting going to get you in trouble with your closest friends?

·         Are you posting these things to intentionally cause disharmony among others?

·         Would you be okay with your mother/father/brother/younger sibling seeing what you just posted?

·         Are you posting this thing just to feel good about yourself?

I can’t tell you that you shouldn’t post if you answered yes or no to these questions because that is something you have to gage yourself. Sometimes making people uncomfortable and making people think is a good thing. But you really need to remember your audience. There is a time, there is a place, there is a season, turn, turn, turn. 

Day Ninety Four: Stripes

I look good in stripes.

I don’t really know what else to say. This blog is about things that I like about myself and I happen to look good in stripes. End of story.

Sometimes the things we like best about ourselves are small things. And those small things help me get through tough days. I dress in stripes when I need a pick me up because I know that I look good in them.

There is no shame in finding something you love and indulging in it.

Challenge to my Readers:

Today you should wear that color you love, that shirt you look good in, that dress that you got a compliment in. Make yourself feel good. That’s the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Day Ninety Three: Not that Person

I’m not that person.

Have you ever listened to someone complain about a certain type of person only to silently think to yourself that “hey, you kind of do that sometimes too.”

Like people who hate gossipers who turn around and gossip about other people. Or those people who talk about bad drivers and drive poorly themselves. People who complain about cigarette smoke but wear a shit ton of perfume.

I’ve been kind of paying attention to those people. I know a lot of them. And there are even bad days when I can kind of be that person.

Last night, after my epically bad night, I had the chance to be that person. You see, as much as I love my ice cream and my shop, my absolute favorite is this place down on Broadway. It’s called Sweet Action and it is amazing. I asked my boyfriend to take me for my birthday but we couldn’t go. So he was going to take me last night. They close an hour later than my shop so I could have gotten there in plenty of time to not be that person who comes in like, two minutes before closing to hassle shop workers.

But, because of my crazy night, I got out of my shop really late. I could have gone to Sweet Action and been that person, showing up two minutes before close and making everyone work for me. But I hate that person. I hate the person who comes into my shop, apologizes for coming in late and then takes twenty minutes to order.

So I went home.

I want to start paying attention to the things that bother me and making sure that they aren’t things I see reflected in myself.

Challenge to my Reader:

Pay attention to what you complain about and make sure those traits aren’t ones others might recognize in you. 

Day Ninety Two: Don't Panic

I try not to panic.

Aside from issues regarding the internet, my computer and when I get lost while driving (three of my greatest weaknesses) I don’t panic.

I had a kind of weird night. I was working when a guy came into my shop and asked me a few questions about the bus and left. About ten minutes later he came back and asked if I could do cash back and I told him to go to the gas station because I couldn’t. He started to leave and before he left he paused and looked back at me.

“You know, red heads are a dying breed,” he told me.

“I did not know that,” I replied, resisting the urge to tell him that I’m actually blonde.

He winked at me, and said “I’m trying to save the red heads,” and then handed me a card.

Here is where it gets really weird. Lame pick up lines I’m used to, but the card was for a blog site for someone who calls themselves The General. The weirdest part is that completely different guy, in completely different part of town, had handed my boyfriend and I the exact same card while we were out walking our dog, only a few hours earlier.

To make matters worse, the guy left my shop and then hung out around the bus stop for almost an hour. I got that he was waiting for the bus, but he kept looking into the shop and kind of leering at me. Seriously bad vibes.

Luckily I had Charles St. John, who came and hung out in my shop with me until The General left. Thank god for good friends, right?

Okay, no reason to panic yet, right? Right.

So after creeper mc-I-don’t-understand-how-genetics-work got on his bus, Charles headed off to the gym. About forty minutes later I was helping some very annoying last minute customers and my phone rang. I couldn’t pick up because I had customers, so I ignored it. As soon as they left and I locked the door behind them, the phone rang again. I picked it up and a young sounding guy answered. The best way to describe him was that he had a bro-voice and he sounded higher than a kite on helium.

At first he just asked a bunch of questions: What time do we close? Is that why I didn’t pick up earlier? Do I have flavor XYZ? What do you mean it’s discontinued? Why did they do that? What’s your cheapest thing?

After a while I got the idea this guy and his friends, whom I could hear in the background, were messing with me, but I’m not allowed to hang up the phone on people if they aren’t being aggressive. So I just answered his questions while I cleaned. But the questions got weird: How far is it from Vail to my shop? How long would it take to drive? Oh, that’s right, where is your partner shop in Vail? Is it worth it to drive all the way to you? What flavors do you have right now?

By then I was pretty fed up so I told them that they could check our website for the flavors or come down, but I wasn’t reading off  twenty four god damn flavors when I was trying to close. They hung up after that.

About two minutes later, the phone rings again. I could see it was the same number, so I picked up. I don’t know, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. Same guy, asking stupid questions. He asked if our ice cream was fresh or frozen. I told him it was ice cream, so it was frozen. His response was “no shit Sherlock” and then he hung up.

The phone rang three more times and I ignored it because I didn’t need to deal with them again. When I finished cleaning and went to head out, I saw there was a message on the line. So I picked up the phone and listened to the three new voicemails these kind folks left me. The first one was a dead tone, which meant they hung up. The second was just silence with like humming or something in the background.

The third one was this: “Hi, we called a little while ago, and we don’t know who the bitch who answered the phone was, but you should fire her. If you can’t do that, I’ll come down and kill her.”

Before you have a little freak out, the police are informed, the number is blocked from my store, my owner knows and shit is being done about it, etc, etc, etc. I kind of doubt anything will come from it because it was a bunch of inebriated idiots being stupid on a Monday night (seriously? You get shitfaced on a Monday?)

But I didn’t panic. I finished my work, I went home and got a hug from my boyfriend. I could have freaked and spent four hours wasting police and worker time. I could have cried myself to sleep. But if I panicked every time some freak said something mean to me, I would never get anywhere in life.

Besides, I work in public school, bitch. It isn’t the weekend until a kid has threatened to kill me.

Challenge to my Readers:

While I might not panic, it’s a good idea to take these things seriously. Better safe than sorry. Look up your local police station phone number. Not 911, but the number of your closest police department. 911 is for emergencies, so unless the gun is actually in your face, calling the police department will actually get you help faster. 

Day Ninety One: Flexible (in plans)

I am flexible in planning.

At least I like to think so. Today was my birthday and needless to say nothing went as planned. It was also our apartment warming and surprisingly everything went pretty well. The combination of both meant that a bunch of my friends were in my apartment for my birthday. All in all it was a nice day.

I had a plan for the night. It involved playing board games and seeing a movie. But we didn’t do that. We sat around and played video games and then we watched youtube videos and in a way, that was the best way the night could have gone. I’m glad I have such great friends who were willing to come all the way out here for my birthday and our apartment warming, and just spend the night hanging out with us.

What’s better than that?

No challenge today, just thankful for a happy birthday. 

Day Ninety: Flexible (in Spirit)

I am flexible in my spirit.

As many of you may know, the Pope decided to resign this past week, shocking the world by being the first pope in six hundred years to give up on the gig. I can’t exactly blame him considering the state of the world and his hate-mongering idiocy seems to be leading us away from the light. But my opinions of the pope have already been discussed at length in earlier works.

Due to the startling revelation that the pope can actually quit (seriously, who knew?) the world has become a barrage of questions regarding the future path of the Catholic Church. I’ve been reading a lot about how many people don’t think that the Catholic Church should or will change at all. As much as I would love to tell you that our next pope is going to dramatically change our church and our world, I know it isn’t true.

Because the Catholic Church isn’t flexible in spirit.

A few years ago I started really getting into Judaism because I really identify with many of their teachings and principles. At the same time, I started reading more into the Shinto and Hindu religions as well as looking at the West African traditions commonly known as voodoo.  I wasn’t looking for a new religion, I wasn’t looking for a change in my spirituality. I was looking for better answers to questions my own religion seemed unwilling or unable to answer.

My mother was understandably upset about my religious swaying. She told me that I was a buffet Catholic; I went from religion to religion looking for the things I liked and disregarding the things I didn’t like. And I was like, “yeah, exactly.” Why should I have to subscribe myself entirely to one religion when I can take what I please from all the world’s religions? I don’t like the way the Catholics treat gay people and women, so I disregard it. I don’t understand the Jewish obsession with the Israel/Palestine conflict and their unwillingness to find peace. A Vodun priest has to go through like nine steps to welcome you into the worship space. But I love the Catholic warmth and its mission of service. I love the Jewish traditions of festivals and food and their lack of a hell. I love the Vodun spirits who help guide worshipers.

So I’m flexible with my spirit. The way I see it, at the end of my days I will go to whatever afterlife has been preordained for me and I can state my case. If they don’t like it up there, I don’t have to stay. I feel comfortable taking the pieces of my religion that I like and practicing it the best way I know how. A lot of my friends and family tell me this is a copout and that I’m being lazy, but really I’m being happy.

Why the hell does religion have to be hard?

Challenge to my Readers:

Whatever religion you are, or even if you don’t practice a religion, take some time to at least read and learn about other practices. Look into a spirituality you would have never considered before and try to take some understanding from it.

Day Eighty Nine: Flexible (in mind)

I am flexible in my thoughts.

I’ve noticed a lot of hubbub on facebook lately about politics and gun rights and religion and stuff. But what I’ve noticed most of all is how everyone seems utterly convinced that their ideas are right and everyone else is wrong. People seem to be unwilling to even look at the other side because they fear that it might possibly sway them and that thought alone drives a stake of terror through their political vampire hearts.

Let me let you in on a secret: your ideals/beliefs/ideologies are not set in stone. The only person who can set them in stone is you and whenever you do that, it’s like putting concrete blocks on your feet. The only place you’re going is down. I don’t care how much you hate the other candidate, the other side, or women’s rights. The more steadfast you make yourself in your stance, the high the wall for other people to climb over.

I’m all for standing up for what you believe in. That’s a very important trait and it should be celebrated. But you need to be willing to listen, to change and to adapt. After all, if everyone stood by their own ideas and never updated their practices, we would still be curing cancer with leeches and prayer circles. 

Day Eighty Eight: Loved

I am loved.

Okay, I know I was supposed to be doing some blogs about flexibility, but today is Valentine’s day and I need to talk about how I’m loved. Because I am very proud of the fact that I have people who love me as much as they do.

For Valentine’s Day, I spent most of it hanging around with Madison watching tv and giggling and being girls. I got groceries so my boyfriend could cook for me and got him flowers and chocolate and all that good stuff. He took me ice skating, which I love. So all in all it was a nice, peaceful and sweet Valentine’s Day.

I love that I am loved. And I love the people in my life. Every day I am grateful to all the people who have supported and loved me. Especially Madison and Taylor. Double especially Taylor, who takes care of me every day and loves me no matter what.

I am loved and I love, that is the best thing a person can have for their life. 

Day Eighty Seven: Flexible

I am flexible.

I wanted to take a few blogs to explain exactly what I mean when I say I’m flexible. I’m starting with the most obvious: flexible in my body. I used to be a dancer (a long time ago) and recently started retraining my body to get it back into dancing shape. I’m not as flexible as I was my sophomore year of high school, but I’m certainly more flexible than some people my age.

When I was a kid, I could do back bends and splits as well as any twelve year old ballet dancer might. But as I got older, I changed my focus from ballet to fencing, which required less grace and more force. After my knee injury, which killed both careers that I might have had, I took a few years off from sports all together. I started salsa dancing in college and it reminded me of how much I loved dancing. I still dance now and then, mostly for the exercise. I can't do any of the tricks or layouts I used to, but I still feel it in my body.

These days I use my flexibility for…less practical things. But I still very much enjoy it. For me, being flexible in my body has less to do with whether or not I can touch my knee to my nose (I can) and more to do with reading my body and knowing what I need to do to keep it happy and well. Recently I’ve started running with my dog a few days a week. A few years ago I couldn’t run at all, so it actually feels pretty great even if I get winded pretty easily.

Hell, I’ve got plenty of down time at work. Time for some yoga, bitches.

Challenge to my Readers:

Listen to your body. Start doing small things, stretches or sun salutes, every day to help keep it in shape and in rhythm. Not everyone is a dancer but everyone can dance, so go ahead and dance. There are tons of websites and videos to help you keep your body in good condition.

Day Eighty Six: Indulgence

I allow myself indulgences.

Today is Fat Tuesday and in Catholic culture this is the one day of the year that we allow ourselves complete and utter indulgence. We then sleep it off the next day by “fasting” which is Catholic code for not waking up until noon and not eating until after mass.

Today is also the first day in almost six months that I hit the 2000 calorie mark in my diet. For those of you who don’t know, 2000 is the average number of calories in a healthy diet. I eat between 400 and 600 on a good day. But, since today I was indulging myself and constantly reminding myself to eat, I actually ate the right amount of food.

When people hear the word indulgence, they usual think of extravagance and excess. But there are some days when we just need to indulge ourselves in the things that make us feel better. More than just rewarding ourselves, sometimes indulgence is a good thing. Some days you have absolutely nothing that goes right and you need a treat just for living through it.

Indulgence is different for everyone. All I can say is that we need to give in from time to time and forgive ourselves when we do. Celebrate even.

Challenge to my Readers:

Quick, before midnight, eat your favorite snack. Indulge! Tomorrow you have to be good. 

Day Eight Five: Polite

I am, or at least try to be, polite.

I’ve already done a blog on how I’m a classy mo-fo. But today someone pointed out to me that I’m very polite and I kind of like that. The fact that it was a compliment from my customers made it even better.

Last year I did my research thesis on propriety and how no one seems to take the time to be polite anymore. It is kind of surprising how many people don’t even take the time to say please and thank you anymore. Of course, sometimes even if they do say it, you can tell that they don’t mean it.

I always try to be polite to people. I figure that if I can spare the breath and time to do it, so can everyone else. There really isn’t a reason to be rude to people. Rudeness is something to be used sparingly and on people who deserve it.

Challenge to my Readers:

Mind your Ps and Qs. Please.

Day Eighty Four: Handy

I am a handy man (woman.)

My dad always taught me that if there is something you can do for yourself, there is no point in paying someone else to do it for you. When I was younger I learned how to re-grout a shower, change light bulbs, fix electrical sockets, unclog a dish drain and until I got my new car, change my own oil. Some of these things my father taught me, some I learned on my own and a few I picked up from other people.

The point is that I’m not one of those women who need to call AAA when I need to change my tire. I can put together furniture and build book shelves and paint a room. I can do a lot of stuff for myself without too much planning or work because I grew up doing it for myself. While it’s true that there are something that I will always need help with (my phone and computer, for example) there are many skills I learned specifically so that I didn’t have to be dependent on anyone else.

What I like most about being handy is that people will ask me for help sometimes and it is help I know I can give them.

Challenge to my Readers:

The next time something goes wrong, like your toilet won’t flush or your garbage disposal won’t run, take a moment to try and fix it yourself. You would be surprised at how often these things are simple fix. 

Day Eighty Three: Promises

I try to always keep my promises.

My mother and I like to see movies together. It’s kind of our thing. A few months ago, the new Ben Affleck movie came out and she and I love Ben Affleck. This movie, Argo, is about the CIA and the hostage crisis in Iran in the seventies, which was something my mom had lived during and seen on TV. It came out a few months ago and right when it came out my mom said she wanted to go see it and I promised to take her.

Unfortunately, a bunch of stuff got in my way. The holidays, moving, medical stuff, the puppy, etc. But I kept telling her that I would take her. If we had to see it at the Elvis Ciniplex with Spanish subtitles, we would see it.

Today, I finally took her to go see it.

(For the record, it was very, very good. I highly recommend it.)

Whenever I promise someone something, I try my very best to not break that promise. There are always going to be times when I screw up, just like anyone else. But unlike other people I know, I don’t promise things lightly. If I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it.

Because that is what a promise is.

Challenge to my Readers:

It’s never too late to keep a promise. Maybe it was something silly from years ago, something you promised your parents, teacher, classmate, sister or dog. Keep the promises you make and don’t break someone’s heart. 

Day Eighty Two: Flirt

I am a serious flirt.

Just ask my boyfriend, that’s how I got him. I flirted my heart out and eventually just flat up told him that I liked him. Five years later and one of these days he’s gonna ask me to marry him. (hint, hint)

But I’m also one of those people that can pour on the charm when I want/need something. I didn’t get the pre-sale password for those tickets by fighting with anyone. I even got my credits for college redone so that I didn’t have to take six classes. The only place my charming self hasn’t worked is Italy, but you just scream a lot in Italian and everyone does what you want.

I think it’s kind of silly that kindness and politeness has become so rare today that people mistake it as flirting. I smile, say thank you and please and people think I want the D. (Or V, that has happened to me before.) But I’m nice because I know that getting angry, being rude or acting like I don’t care doesn’t get me anything.

So I guess when I say I’m a flirt, what I really mean is that I’m a decent human being and that I behave the way society should expect us to behave. Just warning all you boys (and girls) out there that the only person I actually flirt-flirt with is Taylor. He’s the only guy for me and will be for all time. But, as long as the Bruegger’s boys keep giving me free bagels, I’m going to keep being nice.

Challenge to my Readers:

I know a lot of people (male and female) who tell me that they think flirting is hard. I promise it isn’t. Flirting is as easy as thinking of something nice and then doing it. As long as your actions are done with kindness it’s kind of hard to misinterpret them. Example: If you see a cute guy at another table, order them a basket of fries and have it sent over to them. It’s classier and cooler than buying a drink, because that sends the whole I-just-want-you-drunk message. 

Day Eighty One: Vocabulary

I have a fabulous vocabulary.

Okay, so maybe this is cheating since I am a writer. Having an extensive vocabulary comes with the territory. But the honest to god truth is that I love words. Not just writing them, but studying them, making new ones, finding old ones. Even words in other languages.

When I was a kid, my parents always encouraged me to ask what something meant if it confused me. They never dumbed down the answer. If I wanted to know what a word meant, my mother would make me look it up and help me understand it. If there was something on TV I didn’t understand, they explained it to me. While some people may think that this kind of open-ended-question style of parenting introduces kids too early to concepts that they don’t understand, it certainly helped me grow into a better person.

Here I am with three degrees and speaking several languages. How’s that for good parenting.

Long story short, words are beautiful and in my mind the more words you know the more beautiful your words become.

Challenge to my Readers:

Learn some new words today. There’s a dictionary on your phone/ipod/kindle/coffee table. Flip it open and find a word you’ve never heard before.

Day Eighty: Go Getter

I am a go getter, get it the hell done, do it now before it’s due kind of girl.

I am also a procrastinator when I’m only doing things for myself. But when I have to get stuff done for other people, I am on top of it.

Today my owner told me I needed to bake sixty brownies and seventy cookies for a catering event tomorrow. 

Our shop as a teeny tiny oven that only lets me back about twelve cookies at a time and I have to pull the cookies out, flip them and turn the trays before I can finish them. Aside from that I also have to get every cookie cool enough that I can put them in plastic bags, label and sort them. On top of that, I also had the ice cream order today, which means I had almost thirty fifteen pound blocks of ice cream melting in the back while I was working on cookies.

I got everything baked, wrapped and put away in a little over an hour.

An hour.

You might be wondering why this makes me a go getter. I worked for just shy of seven hours today, which meant I had more than six hours to get all this crap done. And I forced myself to finish it in an hour. Why? Because I didn’t know if we would get busy later and I would be too busy to make cookies so I knew better than to leave it.

When I say I’m going to get shit done, I get it done.

Yeah, think about that.

Challenge to my Readers:

Skip the procrastination and do the shit you need to get done. Do it! Do it now!

Day Seventy Nine: Witty

I have a quick wit.

Anyone who knows me knows that I always have a comeback. I’m pretty quick on the draw when it comes to those moments when I need something smart to say. Example: At my shop I get this question a lot:

“You work in an ice cream shop, how do you stay so thin?”

These days I can say “Debilitating, life altering illness called Crohn’s disease.”

But before my diagnoses I couldn’t say that. Instead I just kept my mouth shut. Finally once person said it to me when I was having a bad day and the first thing out of my mouth was “I don’t know, how do you stay so fat?”

Okay, maybe more rude than witty and I certainly had plenty of time to think about it. I feel like I need a Balls of Steel award for saying it though. Kind of like when you work in retail and something won’t ring through and some idiot says “I guess it’s free today.”

But yeah, I’m actually pretty witty once you get to know me. So I feel proud of that .

Challenge to my Readers:

Got a chance to be witty in your life but scared to try? Do it anyway. Think of that perfect comeback and someday you’ll use it.

Day Seventy Eight: Honest

I am honest.

Okay, I actually lie like a dog in the summer because what fun is being late to work when you can be late to work because a polar bear tried to eat your real left tire?

But I’m also honest when it is important. Unfortunately this has gotten me in trouble several times in my life because honesty is not always the best policy and it is certainly not always appreciated. By this I mean that when I have a customer in front of me who wants the moon when all I have is double fudge brownie, it probably isn’t best for me to tell them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that they better take the damn double fudge brownie or go fudge themselves.

I want a reality tv show where I follow people around and give them a bitch slap every time they think they can get whatever they want just by complaining. I want to be able to tell high school students the truth about college and about boys and sex and drugs and all that crap. I want to whole world to realize that nothing is the way it is on television and it certainly isn’t an episode of  “yes please may I kiss your ass some more.”

But I’m not really allowed to do that. So I’m honest in my own life. If that dress looks stupid on you, you will know it. If those jeans make you look fat, I will take you to the gym. If I think you’re behaving batshit looney over some boy/girl and not behaving appropriately, you will damn well find out pretty fast.

Nobody ever said I was nice. (Except, you know, two blogs ago.)

Challenge to my Readers:

Somewhere inside you is something you have honestly wanted to tell someone. If you can’t tell them yet, for whatever reason, write it down somewhere so that it becomes real. If you can tell them, tell them.