Day Ninety Five: High Horse

I try not to ride my high horse too often.

This is half apology and half explanation. For those of you who are my Facebook friends, you undoubtedly saw my  mini rant about these stupid PEMDAS problems wandering around the internet.

My issue with these things, and other things like them, is that they are designed to that the poster can feel superior to the people he is posting about. They usually say shit like “ha, 90% are too stupid to do this math!” or “Only one out of ten people actually know how to use and Oxford comma.” I’m going to let you in on a little secret: This is facebook. The only people on this site who give a relative shit about your ‘intelligence’ is yourself and maybe your mother. The rest of us log on here to see who is getting married to whom, who took stupid photos and track down an ex to see if their new partner is uglier than we are.

This is a little bit personal to me because my friends started posting these things. My friends will also be the angriest about my little rant because I’m attacking them a little bit. Here is the thing though: When I first saw these little math problems circulating the internet, oh about four or five months ago, I ignored the temptation to prove my intelligence because it was math. I don’t do math. I’m very bad at math. Outside of Geometry and Physics, I have never been able to handle most mathematical principles without getting a splitting headache. Both of my parents are engineers and they frequently make fun of me for not being able to do math. My boyfriend even makes fun of me sometimes.

Good for all of you. You can do math. Congrats. I have three degrees and speak almost five languages. I can balance nine scoops of ice cream on a cone. I can sing a double high C without even worrying about it. You are not demonstrating your intelligence through a stupid math problem anymore than I am demonstrating my stupidity by not being able to do it.

I don’t like to get up on my high horse very often. I like to reserve it for special occasions. I feel like that makes it all the stronger when I do actually stand up for something. So here is my high horse for you: It’s perfectly fine if you want to celebrate the things that you can do, as long as you don’t demean others for the things which they cannot do.

You want to post your stupid little PEMDAS pictures or “THEY’RE, THEIR, THERE” crap, go for it. But don’t be surprised when I demand that you tell me who the current PrimeMinister of France is because, oh gee, I thought it was common knowledge.

Challenge to my Readers:

One of my professors once put it like this: “We will all fall prey to the massive multi-person stupidity that is the internet.” That’s cool. We all make mistakes. I’m sure I’ve posted plenty of stuff that makes other people angry. Before you post, ask yourself this:

·         Is what you’re posting designed to humiliate or dehumanize another person?

·         Is what you’re posting going to get you in trouble with your closest friends?

·         Are you posting these things to intentionally cause disharmony among others?

·         Would you be okay with your mother/father/brother/younger sibling seeing what you just posted?

·         Are you posting this thing just to feel good about yourself?

I can’t tell you that you shouldn’t post if you answered yes or no to these questions because that is something you have to gage yourself. Sometimes making people uncomfortable and making people think is a good thing. But you really need to remember your audience. There is a time, there is a place, there is a season, turn, turn, turn.