Day Seventy Eight: Honest

I am honest.

Okay, I actually lie like a dog in the summer because what fun is being late to work when you can be late to work because a polar bear tried to eat your real left tire?

But I’m also honest when it is important. Unfortunately this has gotten me in trouble several times in my life because honesty is not always the best policy and it is certainly not always appreciated. By this I mean that when I have a customer in front of me who wants the moon when all I have is double fudge brownie, it probably isn’t best for me to tell them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that they better take the damn double fudge brownie or go fudge themselves.

I want a reality tv show where I follow people around and give them a bitch slap every time they think they can get whatever they want just by complaining. I want to be able to tell high school students the truth about college and about boys and sex and drugs and all that crap. I want to whole world to realize that nothing is the way it is on television and it certainly isn’t an episode of  “yes please may I kiss your ass some more.”

But I’m not really allowed to do that. So I’m honest in my own life. If that dress looks stupid on you, you will know it. If those jeans make you look fat, I will take you to the gym. If I think you’re behaving batshit looney over some boy/girl and not behaving appropriately, you will damn well find out pretty fast.

Nobody ever said I was nice. (Except, you know, two blogs ago.)

Challenge to my Readers:

Somewhere inside you is something you have honestly wanted to tell someone. If you can’t tell them yet, for whatever reason, write it down somewhere so that it becomes real. If you can tell them, tell them.